I walked into his office, frustrated and teary. At that moment I wished with all my heart that I had another job, a place with structure, a place I could see myself grow in my career mind you I don’t work well in an unorganized environment. This is how I function, give me an unstructured environment and you get a confused and miserable Lapaka. So I had days where I would go home miserable and feeling like I am not contributing or growing so what was the point? I poured my heart out to a colleague I looked up to.
Why don’t you create your own structure he asked me. I looked at him and instantly thought ‘dude I am a junior and I am suppose to find structure in this place that I should follow, what are you going on about’? I paused for awhile thinking about his question, because he was actually onto something. It reminded me of a quote I once saw that read, SHE CREATED THE THINGS SHE WISHES EXISTED I have this same quote framed on my night stand. If it is structure I lacked in my work environment, what was stopping me from sitting down and drafting a plan to get what I feel is missing? In this case he advised me that I may not have the skills to fulfill all my duties but this could easily be improved by getting a mentor in my field and drawing up a skill matrix for myself, two things I believe will help me greatly. The conversation had me thinking of other areas of my life mainly being my own support system. As a recovering people pleaser who depended on others for approval it was frightening to even think of standing on my own, being responsible for my own joy and happiness, it was always about looking for someone to please to feel good about myself…. Little did I know that I could be my own support system and ask for help when I need to.
Don’t be afraid to be your own cheerleader and create what you wish existed. Which areas in your life do you need structure and what are you doing to improve the situation?