Being a people pleaser can be exhausting and for the longest time I was exhausted and very grumpy as a result of this. It is exhausting because all you do is give give give give even during times when it is not necessary to give. Yes becomes the most spoken word even during times when a No is the best answer.
It just recently occurred to me that I have kept some people around that I thought were friends not realizing that my need to be accepted and being a people pleaser had blinded me to the real role these people played in my life. I started recounting past interactions with my “acceptance dealers”. My role in their lives was that I was an enabler, I allowed myself to be their negative emotion sponge, that reliable friend who will always be there. Looking back I don’t blame them but myself.
As I look back and think about a text I got from one of my ‘acceptance dealer’ I am glad I finally realized that the only person I need to be pleasing is me, myself and I. I thought I was being caring but I took it too far and ignored taking of me. This might sound selfish but I strongly believe in balanced self-love and you can’t give what you don’t have.
I have since added a few Noes to a lot of my conversations, and I have never felt so much lighter, happier and free in a long time.